To the fans…

Ok, I'm sick of this. I don't even know where to begin, I'll just go to the point. Being a fan doesn't mean you have to know it all about the band, it doesn't mean that you know every single word to Life On The Murder Scene and to every god damned song. Being a fan doesn't mean you have gone to all of their concerts, and that you have photographs with them. Being a fan doesn't mean that all your walls are completely covered with posters of the band, and that you have their Killjoys jackets, MCR toys, MCR blankets, MCR pillows, it doesn't fucking mean that.

Being a fan means that you love not only their music but the meaning behind them, but mainly, being a fan means that you're loyal to the band without even knowing them personally. It means that when you know they have a problem, you get worried for them even if you don't know them, even if they don't know you. It means that when they are sad, you get sad even if they don't know you, even if you don't know them. It means that when they are happy, you're just happy for them. Being a fan means that you love the band in a non-romantic or stalker-ish way. That you love them in the sense of wishing them the best, of enjoying of their music even if they're not your favourite band, it just means they mean a lot to you even if they don't know you.

Being a fan doesn't mean you can show up at their door only to ask them for a photograph or an autograph, you're showing nothing with that except that you're an asshole.

You all might by now all that has been going on especially for the Way family. And it sickens me. First off, Baycest. Are you fucking serious?.

Lindsey and Gerard are HAPPILY AND PROUDLY married. They have a child, and they are too HAPPY AND PROUD of her. They are very happy for their family and very proud of being happy. Gerard loves Lindsey more than any of you can imagine, more than I can imagine, maybe even more than SHE can imagine. I just know it, it seems like so. And Lindsey loves him just as much as he loves her. And both of them love with their whole hearts and souls their daughter, for what I've seen Gerard has never been so god damned happy in his life.

A wife that loves him and a child he loves, they both make him so. Very. Happy. That I'm sure he feels he's the luckiest god damned man in the whole wide world. Even if shit happens, I'm sure Gerard would still be very happy for having the woman she loves at his side, and a child of their own with them. A child. An innocent child they had not to please the fans but because they wanted their family, they have their own family and they are very, very happy for having it.

And now some people come up with Baycest!? Seriously!?

I have never read one, I didn't even know about it until a friend found out about it. But it's sick. For some people, Baycest is a pairing. For me, and this is the only truth, Baycest is this: the sickest thing someone could ever think of. It's sick, it's repulsive, it's mentally sick, it's wrong, it's bad, it's disgusting, it's gross, it's simply stupid and sickening.

I have seen and read things such like pairing up Mikey with Frank, Frank with Gerard, Ray with Gerard, Mikey and Ray, I've even read things where they pair Mikey and Gerard up. But I NEVER thought someone would be THAT MENTALLY SICK to come up with Baycest. It's wrong. It's too god damned sick.

I mean, I've seen people who pair weird stuff like Ninja Turtles, or Transformers. I've seen people pairing up anime children with anime adults. But I never thought someone would really think of something like pairing up Bandit and Gerard or Mikey and Bandit. It's too god damned wrong! I mean, have you ever read something between father and child WHO EXIST IN REAL LIFE!?

I mean, it's still too wrong for me when I've seen people pairing an Anime father with his child, but it's anime. ANIME. It means it's FICTION. The characters ARE NOT. FUCKING. REAL. For more gross it is, for sick it is, it's fictional, they don't exist, they are simply drawings.

BUT GERARD IS REAL. Bandit is real. And you just go and…create Baycest!? Seriously!? Just, what the hell!? I knew there are sick people out there in the world, but THIS? THIS!?

What would you think if someone ever wrote something between you and your own father!?

What would you feel if you suddenly receive at your door a fanfiction where your father is kissing you or fucking you? What would you feel if someone ever tells you that they like to imagine you and your father or mother in a relationship?

Just get in Gerard's shoes, just do it! How would you just feel if on the internet are stuff written between you and your mother? Between you and your father? Ah, when you're in his position, it's sick. Repulsive. It's sad. It's gross. It makes you angry. Too god damned angry. Mad. Too god damned mad.

I think about it, and I feel like Gerard could have even cried because of the sick 'fans' who sent that gross thing called Baycest to him. For real.

Do you remember how sad we all got to know that Mikey was in depression before and during The Black Parade era? Do you remember how you wanted to cry or even cried when we saw our beloved bassist so sad? Have you ever seen TBP pictures where Mikey just can't smile and his eyes reflect pain, and you get the urge of crying? The urge of hugging him? Of wishing no shit had happened to him?

Yeah, it's Gerard's turn. Because…just, damn it people, you made me cry with the shit you've thrown at him. Not all of you did it, I know it. I didn't. My friends didn't. But there's people out there who did, and who made me get so angry that I just won't talk to my family today because I'm in a bad mood, sick and retarded people who have made a knot in my throat and tears in my eyes for the way they just hurt a singer I appreciate with my heart.

First, he got pictures of him and his family uploaded on the internet without his permission. Then, someone revealed his address. Then, people appeared at his door just to say 'they are the biggest fans and they wanted an autograph'. Then they…they sent him that sick stuff of Baycest. And if I'm not wrong, also Waycest. And now he had to move. He had to sell his house.

Imagine how hurt he is right now. Having his personal (and I want to remark - PERSONAL) life, even if it was about pictures, revealed. If I've learned something, it's that celebrities usually hide their family in order to protect them. Remember how Michael Jackson used to make his kids wear masks? It was because he wanted to protect them. Sometimes, some of us who don't really want any harm for any of our favourite celebrities have wondered 'But why can't he/she show us what their kid looks like? I'm just a fan, I only want to know, I bet their kid is beautiful!'

Yeah, there are many of us who wonder with all the heart to know what their kids look like. And as much as we want to know for CURIOSITY there is always someone out there who wants to know for other reasons. But believe me when I say that there's people out there whose intentions are others, who don't want to know what a famous person's kid looks like only for curiosity. A special case might be Frank Iero's. Remember how mad he went when someone put pictures of his twins up? (Note: the picture was fake) Remember how he even wished death to the ones who did it?

It's not that he's ashamed of his kids, or that he's exaggerating. His huge anger only shows one thing; he loves his family more than anything else in the world. Anything. He loves them way too much. He only wants the best for them; he only wants happiness for them, protection. He's a father, what were you expecting? He's not only a musician, he's not only a guitarist. He's a human. He's a father. He has his family, which he loves and protects with his whole soul. Do you remember when he said he even cried because he noticed he was living the happiest time in his life?

Therefore, imagine what Gerard felt when there were pictures of his family and him up. He didn't even know he was being taken a photograph. Imagine how worried he got when he knew about it. Imagine just how sad he must feel right now, how stressed he must feel at the moment.

Then, people showing up at his door….really? Listen, I'm a very big fan of the band. I've been waiting for them to come to my country (they haven't come in four years), I've been planning on waiting for them since 4 a.m. just to be in the front row, I'm always daydreaming with how wonderful it would be if they ever took me on stage, I always get super excited and talk non-stop with a friend if I ever see a cute picture of any of them or something like that, I always wish I could be like Ray Toro, I always go 'fangirl' daydreaming of what a hug from Mikey would be like, I'm crazy like that, but even if I had their god damned address, I wouldn't go to harass them.

Even if I had Paul McCartney's address, I wouldn't go. You know why? Because at difference of many other people, I think of them before I think of me. You might think 'Ugh, another fangirl who thinks she's unique and who says lies like that only to call the attention'. Yeah, well, you're wrong. I do think of them first. If I ever got, for example, Paul McCartney's address, this would happen; I'd get very, very excited, I might even faint in excitement, I'd go bouncing around the house screaming I have his address, I would phone a friend to fangirl with her about it, we would plan on visiting him, we would joke about moving in with him….and then, after the excitement cools down, I would get in his shoes.

I would wonder what I would feel being very, very famous and popular, with billions of people knowing my name, I would wonder what it would feel like to be living my normal life to suddenly be received by a random person who asks me for an autograph. I would wonder what I would feel; I would feel like that person is going to tell other five people where I live, and those five to twenty people each one, and those twenty to fifteen other people. And my house would soon be surrounded by a thousand people; the ones who want to touch my hand and get an autograph, the ones who wouldn't stop touching me without my permission, the ones who will be taking photographs for magazines, and the ones who would try to harm me and my family.

Just…no. That's way too wrong. In every possible way. It's ok to be a great fan, to always wish you could be someone famous' friend, it's ok getting excited because of them. But it's way too wrong doing something like that. GET IN THEIR SHOES.  It must not be easy to always deal with people who touch you only so they can say "I TOUCHED MY FAVE SINGER'S CROTCH!" to everyone else. It's just very wrong touching someone without their permission.

What would you feel if someone just comes from nowhere and licks your face? Would you be alright if you get surrounded by people from nowhere just to be touched by them all, and not knowing who was the one who slapped your butt or who touched your crotch? For girls, would you be cool with people if they just come and squeeze your boobs? FUCKING HELL, NOOOO! They are normal people! They feel angry, embarrassed and sickened when people touch them without their permission!

It's not like only because they are famous you can go and rape them. They'd end up as hurt as any other person. WHAT THE HELL!?

This is my god damned point: Gerard Way has helped many of us. With his songs, lyrics and words which go especially for fans, he had told us to stand up when we fall, he has given us a thousand advices, he has told us not to give a single shit, to accept us the way we are. He has touched our broken hearts and, without knowing us personally, he talks like he does and, even when Gerard himself could be broken back in the years, his kind and warm heart fixed us. He told us that it's ok not to be ok, and he mainly showed us THAT EVERYTHING GETS BETTER, no matter how hard it is. He has told us to hang on even in the hardest of situations.

He, without knowing us personally, loves us for admiring him. He wants the best for many of us. HE FIXES THE HEARTS OF THE ONES WHO ARE NOW BREAKING HIS HEART.

For real, this is the way of thanking someone so special for us? That singer is a hero. He has saved thousands of lives with his words of support. He has helped people who cut to stop. He has shown us that no matter what we look like, it only matters who we are inside. He has told us, and he really has told us a lot that everything gets better in life, BECAUSE IT HAPPENED TO HIM. He's the one who survived drugs and alcohol, someone who witnessed 9/11, he's the same one who told himself he couldn't stay in the basement doing nothing, that he wanted to help people. Not only himself, he accepted he wanted to HELP PEOPLE. He's the one who showed us that it's possible to leave alcohol, and that's it's wrong in the first place. He's the same one who composed the songs we listen to every day, and the same one who has fixed the broken ones by helping them to get up, giving them a friend.

And this is our...fucking payback.

I don't know what you think, but I think we've broken him. It wouldn't surprise me to know he cried his fucking lungs out, he has all the right to do it. If I were in his place, I would be crying right now and I wouldn't stop soon. Why? Why people? Why are you stalking him like that? Why are you showing his personal life when it's only his? Why are you sending him the sickest stuff ever? Why are you hurting him using his daughter and his own image? Why are you hurting him by making him leave his own house? The place he lived in for years? The place he loves? Why are you doing that to him with no reason?

Why are you hurting the man who fixed most of our hearts without even knowing us?

Why? I can't explain it. It truly and really makes me sad for him. I really feel so bad that…for real, I'm crying. I can't help it. I don't know him personally, I don't know his wife personally nor his daughter. I don't even live close to him. I know it's 99% possible that he'll ever know me, I know that he will never see only me, only one specific person, in between billions of fans. And still…just thinking of what those people have done to him makes me cry. It really does. It makes me so sad that I haven't even showered today only to write this, only to understand why people have harmed him with no reason.

I mean, this is in a deviantart account where I write fictions from the band. I accept it. I write the stuff I like, the pairings I like. I've even made them fuck, and I fucking accept it, for much it might sicken Gerard. That's the truth, why to hide it? I accept it; I write slash between them. But here's the difference; I would never, NEVER send it to them only to see their reaction. NEVER. I write the stuff I write because I like it, because it's a hobby. Because I like to write.

BUT WITH ALL MY RESPECT. I've even written sick stuff like Waycest. I accept it's sick. And still, all I write is with all my respect to the guys. If I respect someone, it's them. Because they've taught me things not even my parents have. Because I admire Ray Toro's work, Frank Iero's work, Mikey Way's work and Gerard Way's work. Because they have made my tears stop when none of my friends could. Because they kept me company with their music when I was left alone with no real friends some years ago. Because they are just warm-hearted people who want the best for their fans. And because I, as a fan, want the best for them.

But how much respect does it have to write something like Baycest and send it to Gerard? How much respect do they show by doing that? For real, I swear, I really swear that while I'm writing slash between MCR guys, I do it with such a huge respect that sometimes I don't feel that much respect for my own family. For real. I write, a thousand of other fans write, and we all do it without losing our admiration for them. Without the desire of embarrassing them. With such a huge respect that we're sometimes even scared mcr guys will ever find out what we write.

But there are fans, it seems, who write with no respect. Who think it's ok to just call them names and write stuff about them that is just sick. And I've seen sick things, of course, but at least they have respect enough not to think of something like sending the guys that repulsive stuff. If they ever told me "You get the chance to meet the guys, only if you show them a perverted slash you've written", excuse me but I prefer not meeting them, alright? Why? Not because it embarrasses me what I write, not because I think they don't know what we write, but because I respect them enough not to show them the kind of stuff we fan-fictioners write.

I mean, they know about it. But one thing is to know, and another thing is to read it themselves. If we writers do it, we do it for other fans as long as they respect them. But to show them something like that? Excuse me, but not in a hundred years; not because I fear they'll dislike me, not because I don't want them to know that one of the many writers is me, but because I don't want to hurt them.

If they are in that band, it's because since the very beginning they took responsibility over us their fans as if we were their kids; they know that what they say gets to us and we learn from them, they know that they can tell us what to do and what not to do. They care for us. We care for them. Can't all of us see that? If forming MCR meant the guys would get hurt by fans themselves, excuse me but I would have preferred that they had never formed the band. For real. I would prefer not having their music and support than having it while the guys suffer. It's not fair. It's not fucking fair.

Next time you call yourself a fan, think about this; a real fan cares for the band, not only admires it. A real fan does not want any harm to be caused to any of the band members. A real fan wants the best for them. A real fan sees for them before the fan her/himself. A real fan, before doing anything that includes the band, thinks about what they would feel or what would cause for them before doing it.

Get in their god damned shoes.

For Gerard…

Many of people reading this might think I'm only a dreamer who writes this for Gerard. Yeah, let me say one thing; I know it's 99% probable that he will never read this. I know it. But still, I will try. Because I need to tell him something. I really hope Gerard someday gets to read this, but I'm already aware that it's almost sure it won't happen.

Gerard, I'm sorry, okay? I feel so sick about what's happening that I don't even know how you feel. I'm not you; I have no idea of how you feel, I know it. But I have at least a small idea.

I admire you like you're my own father, and I'm sorry that I've been cursing a lot in this god damned text, but I'm angry and hurt, ok? Listen, I'll probably never meet you, I'll die without even getting the chance of getting even a small wave from you. And I don't mind. I don't because I'm already aware that there are almost no chances for that, and I accept it for much I admire you and the guys.

I don't know who was the mentally sick person who started harassing you, and I don't know who was the one who started writing that shit they sent you. I don't fucking know. I didn't even know about it before getting  on the internet yesterday in the afternoon, yeah? I didn't have a single idea you were going through all this shit. And you have all the god damned right to scream at us fans, you have all the right to get angry, you have all the right to feel anger towards us. And you have all the right to cry if you want to, because it's not fair.

I don't know who caused that much harm to you, but in the name of those cowards, I'm asking you sorry now. You're the god damned hero of millions of people out there in the world, you're a life saver and idol even if you don't know it. You've fixed many of our broken hearts without even knowing us, and now some idiots are breaking yours. And that's the most unfair thing I've ever seen before.

You've always told us to stand up and not to give a single shit of what people say about us. The same goes for you; follow your own words for the sake of the fans who truly care for you. Sometimes, it's hard to ignore. If you can't, that's ok. But now that the harm's caused, I'm really very sorry about it. From deep in my soul, I'm very sorry. Please, forgive us.

Not all of us want to harm you the way those persons did. Not all of us want to stalk you the way they did. I'm not the only one who has cried because of what's being happening to you. Not all of your fans are sick like that.

I'm sorry, ok? I really am, you have no idea. I don't know who started all the shit, but I really am sorry from deep in my heart. It's like someone smashed it just by hurting you and your family. I'm really sorry. For Lindsey, I'm really sorry for that beautiful woman. For Bandit, I'm really sorry for that beautiful kid. For you, I'm really sorry for that my hero who made me stand up when I fell down. I don't care if you're never going to read this, but I had to write it because you have no idea how much it hurts for a fan to see what fake fans have caused to you.

I don't even know why I'm this hurt, I just am. Since I was a fan of the band, I've admired you. I'm not one of those crazy fans who get angry at Lindsey for marrying you, I'm from those fans who are happy you did because she makes you fucking happy and that's what we fans want. We want to see a wide and bright smile on Mikey's, Ray's, Frank's and your face. We want to know you guys are living a happy life, we don't only want your music and concerts. We don't only want you to release thousands of albums and we don't only want to cling onto you and never let go.

We want you to be happy, because we're real fans who, besides admiring you, care for you even if you don't even know us, even if we don't know you guys further pictures and music.

And this is just not enough to say sorry. This is not even the tiniest of tiniest of parts to ask sorry for everything that people have done to you. And I'm sorry. Like me, I tell you for sure that there are other millions of people who are sad for what's going on. I tell you for sure there are millions of people who, like I said before I would do, wouldn't go to your house even if we have your address because we think of you first, of how you would feel.

Not all of the MCRmy is like that. And if being part of the MCRmy means harming you, I'm out. I'd rather not to be called a fan than be called one and hurt you guys. Because that's not the way I want to thank you for everything; for forming the band, for the wonderful music, for supporting us, for making us laugh, for everything. My way of thanking you is not to hurt you, because thanks to you, many of us are happy now. No.

I just can't thank you enough for everything. And like that, I'll never be able to be sorry enough for what other people have done to you.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm too fucking sorry. I'm sorry. I really am sorry, I'm sorry, I'm very sorry for everything. Please, I beg you from my heart, forgive us fans. It was never our intention to hurt you, we never meant to cause any harm. I know I've said this before, but let me repeat it; I don't know who were the assholes who called themselves 'fans' and hurt you. I don't know who they are, and I didn't even know about this before.

But even if I don't know them, even if many of us the MCRmy and MCR fans didn't do a single thing against you, even if it wasn't because of us…we're sorry. We're truly sorry.

I'm very sorry, and I know it won't be easy to stop it all. I promise we'll change, and I'll start by myself; I'll never do something like that, I've learned what not to do, I've learned to care for you and not to be a creep/stalker with you, because it pisses you off and because it also hurts you. I'm very sorry, and once again, I apologize for all the curses in here. It's just that I'm upset.

Gerard, if you are reading this, if I was mistaken and after all you do are reading this…Please, forgive us.

We're sorry, very sorry.




                                                                           A fan