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Yooooo, guys! I've become terrible at being in touch with you, ain't that true!? I totally SUCK! :iconiloveitmoreplz:

Anyway, uhm, what about you guys answer some stuff, because 1) it's always interesting reading other people's opinions on stuff, 2) it's much more interesting if it's YOU (not just random people I don't know), 3) I'd like some opinions on it, sincerely, 4) I just, want to read you. You always read me in my journals, but I don't watch many of you, so...I wanna read you now.

So, here they go:

1.- What do you think makes a great author/writer?
2.- What do you think makes a great novel?
3.- What do you think makes a great fantasy novel?
4.- What do you think makes a great actor?
5.- If it's your case, or you have your opinion on it, or know about it; how do you deal with low self-esteem?

I guess that's it for now. :aww:


Now, onto more of my bullshit:

--- I'm at two or three hours of FINALLY finishing the damn theatre play. No more pressure. :iconiloveitplz: And I've been enjoying it greatly! I should work more on this kinda stuff :meow:

--- I've been having LOTS of ideas for written stuff I want to...write? *applauding applauses of redundance* Thing is, it's for...well...nowdon'tlaugh- for books. :blush: Like, I had this time when I had LOTS, MILLIONS OF HUNDREDS of ideas for fictions, so many I never finished writting all of them down. It's the same, except this time it goes for novels, in my actual mother language, and inspired to go onto for being published. It's amazing and makes me worried about my health :noes:

--- I've also been having ideas for more fictions BUT I HAVE NOT EVEN FINISHED THE CAT DUET YET WHAT THE FUCK IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO YEARS NOW.

--- I can't wait to write the Hogwarts AU, opadjsfoisjfgosdjfios

--- My boyfriend was sorted into Slytherin. What am I telling my Hufflefather when he knows his Ravendaughter dates a SlytherAndré? :noes: I mean, I married a muggle, yes, BUT NOT A SLYTHERIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH- well, they're not so bad, and the guy's really nice. But couldn't you get an uglier one, like, wth.

I think that's it. I shall focus again on TCD once the play's done, I'MALMOSTDONEIT'SSOEXCITINGOMG.

So, what's up with you, guys? What does the weather say, eh? 

I suddenly don't know how to say goodbye, so uhm.

Well...

Bye :iconilikeitplz:
  • Mood: Daily Needs
  • Drinking: Coke

Activity


Chapter 46: Fur Shaving Day

“Why haven’t you cut your hair, Gerard?”

Gerard dropped the dead cigarette to the ground, at his feet, and used one of them to smash it. He had grown to not only like of the cigar now but also go for it as constantly as he went to the bathroom whenever he had the chance to go out and had a break from any class. Bob had been first to chide him and punch him in the arm after taking from him the box he had in his backpack, so after a few days, Gerard made sure to not do it in front of the blond, not more than once. It was almost like the way his friend went nuts (his serious, calm and quiet way, of course) passed by unseen by Gerard; he listened and saw and everything, but he just did not react at all and did not reply, not due to shock but by mere lack of necessity of an answer. Life was; if someone said something that needed no answer, even if a speech two hours long, then there was just no need of an answer and that was it. No big deal.

Frank had also gone angry at him for seeing him smoking so normally and a bit in excess (excess, of course, for a first timer teenager), so Gerard tried to control himself in front of his friend, and as he had always known Ray was just not friends with cigarettes, he also has to look out for it when in front of him. So with all of his friends worrying over him smoking more than twice a day (which was already quite too much), he merely did not do it more than once in front of them. Each of them, of course. It was not like he was lying at all; he just did not tell them the whole thing and that was it. If he smoked one in front of Ray, there was no need of telling him he had smoked one with Frank and one with Bob, two on his own, and one with Jake before. What the eyes did not see, the heart did not feel.

The pale tenth grader let out a last cloud of smoke from his nostrils and mouth, and stayed standing at a side of the bench where Frank was lying on (despite it being covered in snow just a few moments back), not making eye contact with his friend. The fact that he had partly his trust did not mean Gerard dared to look at him to the eye after his…well, it was not a lie. But it was a way of putting it. He moved lightly his head to get rid of some pressure on his neck, and felt his long hair brushing against his back. Heck, it was long. But the longer, the better off it was for the sake of the play.

“I thought I’d already told you” Gerard said with his always soft and gentle voice, turning to look at Frank, who pouted his lower lip and shook his head. His friend titled lightly the head to a side. “No?”
“Nope” Frank replied, sitting up on the bench and caressing the back of his neck. Whether it was due to starting school again or just for a strange position of sleeping the previous night, he felt some stress on his muscles. Perhaps it was from coming back to school, as Gerard was the same. “I thought that, once done with the play, you’d of be free to cut it again”
“Yeah, that was the plan” Gerard replied. “If I didn’t cut it during holidays that was because I was too lazy, and out of mere luck” he continued, and sat down at a side of his friend, staring up at the cloudy sky. “You see, there’s another presentation for the play by June or so”
“Oh, really?” Frank asked both surprised and excited, what made his friend smile very subtly and with a bit of shyness as he stared away; he felt quite flattered due to his participation in the play every now and then. There were random students who complimented him when he walked past them about his great acting skills and his wonderful voice (despite the other half of school who made fun of him for having done the role of a girl and the voice of one), but his group of friends were who took the prize to ‘Those Who Make Gerard Feel He Did a Great Job’. Or TWMGFHDaGJ for shorter. “Man, that’s awesome! I get to see it again!”

“Yeah” Gerard agreed with a side smile, arms crossed. “I’m kinda excited, to be honest…the play’s one of the countable things I’ve enjoyed in the past fifteen years and ten months”
“I can tell” Frank said with a small laugh, which, along the words, made Gerard’s smile fade as he turned to look at his friend, not angry or offended but quite curious. Frank understood the hidden question in the guy standing nearby him, and widened his smile. “You tend to have this heavy dark aura on you, but on stage or whenever I saw you reading the script, you looked…you know…” Frank shrugged, one of his eyebrows furrowing lightly in a sign Gerard had gotten to know as when his friend looked for the correct way of using words. “…in calm” he said softly, staring away like talking to himself rather than speaking to Gerard. “As if…art healed you and all you’ve kept from us ever since we first said Hello”

Gerard was left speechless. His eyes were slightly widened and his breath had gotten stuck somewhere in his throat as he stared at Frank. Both stayed in a bit of silence, before the teen with lip ring turned again to look at Gerard once more, and smiled kindly, with all his bounciness gone. Gerard blinked once while staring at him in total silence. Well, he knew Frank had quite his own artist hidden under that white skin, and that he had a massive way of thinking he tended to hide under layers of jokes and pranks, but that was…quite unexpected. Frank was the kind of guys who knew more than you knew he knew, and still kept it silent because he knew you wanted it to stay that way.

Gerard did not even question him. After the shock, he merely stared down as a small curve appeared on his lips, and his gaze returned to Frank, who gave him a small and very friendly and even fatherly wink. Gerard replied with one of his own, using both eyes in a soft motion, that almost said ‘Yeah, it’s okay’ or something. Then, Frank sighed and stood up from the bench.
“Well, let’s get going” he said as he got closer to Gerard, stopping at his side with a bright smile. “We’re late”

He laughed softly and wrapped an arm around Gerard’s shoulders, pulling him in a brotherly half hug and heading towards the inside of school. Gerard smiled, and even a small chuckle could be earned from him.
And he returned the hug.

--

“I learned when I was four” Billie said softly with a sweet and melancholic smile as his fingers moved gently in among the jet black jungle of hair. Gerard listened and smiled at a small detail that caused great effect on him; his boyfriend was opening up about something of his life, nothing intimate or something he would not dare to tell anyone else, but even if just a small fact, Gerard was learning something about who this person used to be, who he was. He was being let into the life of someone else. And it made him feel quite special, mainly due to this person being the guy he had once been so sure would remain as Platonic. “I grew up with three sisters older than me; they melted for little kids, so a four year old brother just got them”

Gerard gave a little laugh at how cute he could easily picture a four year old Billie Joe walking through a garden holding a small basket while following his sisters, helping them pick fruit or something.
“So they wanted me to do everything with them, y’know” Billie laughed softly as he continued on his task, right hand to the left crossing the middle, then left hand to the right side crossing the middle and so on and on. “Bake with them, help them pick their outfits, go shopping together and catwalk as they tried clothes and shoes on, and, of course, they so had to teach the little guy how to braid their hair”

As he said that, he used a small rubber band to keep the tip of the braided hair tight for it not to be undone, and he let go of Gerard’s hair. Both stayed in silence some moments, before Billie, who was previously on his knees behind his boyfriend, now sat down and brought the smaller guy’s back against him, wrapping his arms around Gerard and burying his face on top of the tenth grader’s head, nuzzling at it. Gerard laughed softly as he took his side braid and looked down at it, though he really could not see but the tip. His hair was long, but not like a mermaid’s or anything.
“I can’t believe you just braided your boyfriend’s hair” Gerard said with a smile, turning slightly to a side to look at Billie, who took advantage of it and pressed a big kiss on his boyfriend’s pale cheek. “You see how wrong it sounds?”
“Why?” Billie questioned. “It’s not like it’s illegal, y’know”

“Well, but we’re so in the thought of not being the cliché of Gay, and you just braided your boyfriend’s hair” Gerard said with a small laugh, which Billie had to join as well.
“Yeah, but I don’t mind” Billie said with a wide smile, standing his weight on his hands while keeping Gerard sat in his lap, staring at him and sharing the glance. “I enjoyed of it” the older guy commented, and after a few moments of just keeping the eyes on one another in mere silence, Billie moved a hand up and caressed his boyfriend’s head. “I like your hair…”
“I like that you liked it” Gerard commented with a small smile, not helping the soft but noticeable blush on his cheeks, while playing nervously with both hands with his braided hair. “Because I’d like for you to like me like I like you”

“Sweetheart, I think I like you even more than you like me” Billie said with one of his heart-melting smiles and adding a small laugh. Gerard blushed harder and he stared away, grinning. “And you know what I really like?” he asked lowly and he hugged Gerard by the waist, moving with the guy in arms so he made the tenth grader giggle as he shifted their position so Gerard laid down on the floor of his bedroom with Billie lying on top of him without crushing down the little guy, standing half of his own weight on his elbows, leaning down to peck all over Gerard’s face non-stop, making him giggle and blush. After a while spending it just like that, Billie moved a hand up and caressed the tenth grader’s hair away of his forehead. He stared at Gerard until the tenth grader stopped with the little laughs, and wrapped his shy arms around Billie’s neck with less fear than just the previous month, still smiling and almost nose-to-nose. Billie smiled. “That”

“What?” Gerard asked lowly, smiling and having his fingers playing with the twelfth grader’s hair.
“Your smile” Billie whispered to him, smiling and leaning down to kiss the small guy. They spent a while properly kissing, with their lips catching one another sweetly and quite softly but not shyly or fearful. After breaking apart, the twelfth grader rubbed his nose against Gerard’s, closing his eyes. “You smile ten times more than when I first met you, my little angel…” the older of the two whispered sweetly, before containing a sigh in his chest. “It moves me so much to see your progress…”
“Well” Gerard shrugged lightly, with the gaze down but a smile on his face. “I guess…I-I guess It’s partly your fault, so…” he chuckled. “You can’t be surprised, Mr. Armstrong”

“Well, I am!” Billie giggled softly, sitting up and pulling Gerard with him, the tenth grader keeping the arms hugging his boyfriend’s neck, while he pressed shy but multiple kisses to the older guy’s cheek. “We’ve been together since November…and, in only a few moments…you’ve turned in a quite different person. For good” Billie smiled. “You smile. You speak more…and your notes are getting slightly better, sweetheart”
A bit embarrassed but totally flattered, Gerard smiled but stared down, blushing and shrugging one of his shoulders, like not really knowing what to reply. Which was no lie, indeed.

Billie smiled sweetly at him, with a sparkle of what seemed to be either sadness or just a moved heart, and passed a lock of Gerard’s hair behind his ear.
“Your lil’ sparkle is showing, my Gee” he whispered to the younger teenager, bringing him closer and nuzzling at him like an affectionate lion. “Don’t let it fade…I love it”
“I’ll try” Gerard whispered back, smiling and, though not showing it, incredibly moved inside. He nuzzled back, and closed the eyes. “Thank you, Bee…you’re so good to me” he wrapped his arms around the older male. “I love you”
“And I love you” Billie replied softly and tenderly, bringing Gerard close to hug him and keep him tight in arms.

Billie had had created bonds with previous relationships, of course. But he was sure that, with no other person before had he stayed alone like that. Just hugged.
Sometimes, it scared him how much he really did feel towards Gerard.
Then he realized he was there, in his arms, and the world was beautiful all of a sudden.

--

Billie, like many other days, was hanging with Gerard at the hallways of school. Like usual, he arrived with the crappiest pick-up line he could find on the internet, and used it to break the ice and start the conversation with his secret boyfriend. They stayed together all over the small break, and some minutes before the bell rang, both of them started heading towards their respective classroom which, for their luck, was the same way. They had been laughing together a bit, while the cheerleaders gave both of them the oddest of looks as they passed by going the opposite to get to the outside for their daily practice, some of them ‘accidentally’ bumping into Gerard’s shoulders and keeping the chin way too up, and pretending the guy was invisible.

Just as they were about to reach the hallway where they had to say Goodbye for another two hours, the sound of heels hurrying behind them made them look over their shoulders.
“Ah! Billie, Gerard!” called a familiar voice, and both guys turned around. They smiled widely at Mrs. Collins as she caught up with them, looking happy, and a bit odd. Like usual. “How’re you doing?” She asked, and as they were opening their mouths, she continued. “Me too” none of the students took it as lack of interest. Just their usual weird teacher. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you guys, we’re starting rehearsals again next week, is that okay?”
“Yeah” both guys said happily, nodding.
“Great!” Mrs. Collins exclaimed. “I hope you remember your lines! And, of course, that you’re as excited as first time doing The Cat Duet” she widened a smile, and specifically looked at Gerard. “And Gerard, dear…I hope you won’t have any troubles with your voice this time”

“With my voice?” Gerard questioning, the smile gone and the head slightly tilted to a side, out of curiosity. “Why should I have any troubles with it now?”
“Well, you know” Mrs. Collins’ shoulders fell as she closed her eyes, bringing the back of one of his hands to his forehead, going drama there in mere hallway. “Puberty has started to consume you, my child”
“What do you mean?” Gerard ignored the drama.
“You’re growing, my kid!” she exclaimed, as upset as proud, apparently. “And your voice is changing with you…I’m afraid in a matter of a few months you won’t be able to sing as highly as you do now!”

Gerard stayed still. The sudden excitement that had built up in him when they were told when rehearsals were starting, and the previous joy of his conversation with Billie, had all suddenly faded away and stayed totally forgotten. Instead, Gerard started feeling worry inside.
Did that mean…that, one day, he would have to stop participating in The Cat Duet?
The only thing he did…the only thing he felt he was good at, the only thing that he enjoyed…
Did it have to go away one day?
Was it going to be taken by someone else?

“The good side of it” Mrs. Collins’ voice brought him back down from his cloud of thinking and onto standing on his feet on the world’s ground, “is that you’ve let your hair grow along you!” she clapped once, smiling at him. “Don’t you care cut it, or I’ll cut other things!” she said with a smile and an excitement that did not go according to her words. But none of the students were a tiny bit amused. “We’ve gotta work extra hard on it this time, you guys…” she said more sweetly this time. Then she looked again at Gerard, and caressed his hair in a motherly way. “And, despite the voice changing, I think we can still save something with the hair, right?”

Something inside Gerard shrank a bit, but he tried not to show anything that would reveal it on the outside. He forced a smile and nodded.
“Great!” she exclaimed, happily, as the bell rang. “Anyway, I’ll let you guys continue with your stuff” she turned around like never expecting goodbye, and started happily going away, slightly half dancing as she went, like she knew people would stare if she danced across the hallway but could not contain it a hundred percent.
“Anyway, I’ll leave you to your class now, Gee” Billie said with a smile at his friend, and moved a hand up to stroke slightly his hair, messing with the ponytail a bit. “Your hair is pretty. It’s going to look stunning on stage”
“Yeah” Gerard said with a bit of a nervous smile, which was either unnoticed by his boyfriend, or was merely ignored. “I, uhm, I’ll go now, I guess”

“Yep” Billie nodded. “See you later”
“See ya” Gerard replied quietly, waving slightly and smiling at the wink Billie gave him. Both turned around and entered their respective classrooms, Billie’s being three doors away from the nearest one they stopped by, which was where Gerard was to get in.

--

Half of the class had passed by when Gerard noticed he had a bit too much anxiety to really be worth staying any longer sat in that desk paying attention to the bullshit he was supposed to learn and understand. Screw school; it was but a place where they judged whether you are worth it or not. That was bullshit. Like he once read somewhere on the net; ‘if you judge a fish out of his ability to climb a tree, he’ll live the rest of his life thinking he’s useless’. What if he wanted to dance, to write, to act?
Or sing.

Gerard asked for permission to go to the bathroom. Frank had stared a bit at him along the class as Gerard did not stop biting his nails off and tapping the floor with a foot, and did not even really seem to notice at all what he was doing, but the kid with a lip piercing did not say a thing. Gerard was already a really weird guy, and Frank knew he had lots of manias and a hell world of problems on his shoulders, so he knew that Gerard sometimes needed to take a breath, and that he was the kind of person to tap the floor like a mad rabbit, bite nails off, scratch the back of his hands, play with his hair and bite it, and such kind of things, so he simply let the vampire-like guy be as he stood up and headed straight to the door, barely mumbling something to the teacher to be let outside and not even considering the lady’s opinion in his way out.

As his feet started dragging him to the bathroom, he stopped to think twice, and hesitated on his way. Standing in the middle of the hallway, Gerard thought. Well, he was the extremely clichéd dark-goth, pale bullied guy. Going to the bathroom while everybody was in class and nobody walked around the hallways and restrooms was not the best of ideas, for what he had learned. So he turned over his heels and starting heading another way. Looking behind himself a few times making sure nobody was following him, like this was a very dark street of a dangerous city at night instead of a mere school hallway, Gerard kept going until he reached the back doors. He kept going until he reached the school’s back parking lot, where there were only a few cars (some being teachers’, the rest, which were few enough to be counted with both hands only and a few fingers out, being from some senior year guys [or their parents’ car lent to them, at least]).

Gerard sighed and made sure nobody threatening or that he knew was nearby, and he went on for the nearest car to him. He looked at both sides and made sure nobody was in, wanting to prevent the embarrassment of standing there while the driver watched him, and once made sure nobody was around, he leaned down and look at himself in the small mirror on a side of the vehicle.

He stared at his pale face. A few people were right; it was not as round, but it did not look like he was sick either. He looked at his usual dark bags under the eyes, which had become as natural to him as a pair of ears. His yellowish and slightly crooked teeth. The girly eyebrows. The girly eyelashes. The girly lips. That girly look and vibe he spread around. Sometimes, he really did not identify at all with the masculinity of the male gender, despite still considering himself a male. He just was not interested in sports, cars, or whatever. Even if he had been interested in girls, he highly doubted he would be less girly than he was.

And the hair. Long; not long for a girl, but enough for a guy. Not like a clichéd metalhead, though. It reached some inches under his shoulders. It amazed him; it had been only a few months, and his hair grew like desperate. It was funny because he was hairless everywhere else. Not like he minded, anyway. He was still fifteen. He would not be surprised if his hair, by June, would be twice as long. He just did not have to cut it. No. It was his hair. It was his…it was his talent. It was what people thought was his talent. If he cut it, they would see the loser underneath. He really considered he had not done the greatest work as an actor…he just…let his hair grow. That was it. Everybody mistook his “I don’t want a wig, I’ll let my hair grow” as “I’m very talented, a great actor”. That was why they clapped to him. It was not his skills. It was his hair.

Gerard took his ponytail to a side over his shoulder, and caressed it, staring at it through the mirror. Was it really a big mistake? Maybe he really did have no talent at all like people reminded him every day before moving, and even after that. Maybe all the people who had clapped at him in this new school had just mistaken his hair for his skills. That greasy, ugly jet black thing that sprouted from his head…that was what people saw and tagged as Gerard. Without it, he was…the same weirdo as always, was not he? The loser, the guy who can do nothing but interrupt classes with stupid comments, and still failed everything.

As in the singing, people had clapped for Lily’s mezzo-soprano voice. Not Gerard’s tenor. And his voice was changing. That meant that when he grew older, just in a matter of a year or two, and his voice took shape, people would totally forget about his other ‘talent’ as well. Because it was not the skills; it was the color of Lily singing. Not Gerard’s singing. Not his skills. And also, what if his voice changed by June and he had to be totally replaced by someone else now that there was no excuse to use him as last source? Oh god, because that was what he had been, just a second place, just the emergency supply, the only thing that was left, the only thing they went to in desperation, not out of liking what he did. They did not look for him because he could do stuff; they went after him because he was the only thing left that kind of fitted the thing.

And if they replaced him…that meant that somebody had to be Lily. Somebody had to be Derek’s girlfriend. Act on-stage with Billie. Hug him. Caress him.
Kiss him.

Gerard gripped tightly his hair, swallowing. His entire torso felt ticklish inside, in a way that did not made him feel funny but rather upset and worried. He thought for a second that there could as well be a black hole inside of him that was sucking everything in without him knowing, but he threw away that thought. His stomach shrank. He gripped his hair with both hands, shyly. It had to remain long. Never ever cut it again. He had to keep acting with the long hair. He had to keep singing with the girl voice. He could not grow up. He could not grow up. He could not change; he was not happy with who he was in his present, but that was the less fucked up he had ever been; so if things could not be better, he at least wanted them to stay as they were. They were very screwed up, but that was the best he had been, and if they stayed like that, fantastic! They could not get worse. Well, they could, but he had to do all to avoid it.

He kept a long sigh in his chest, and stood straight again. And, like Spiderman, he did not need to turn around or hear a single thing; it just rang in his head and called for him, exactly who, what, when and where.

He was standing there, behind him, arms crossed. And one more behind him.
Oh, fuck.

“This ain’t the bathroom, you know?” Gerard questioned without even turning around, letting go of his hair, and starting to walk away.
“Yo, wait a minute” Lance’s voice called from behind as he, with a small laugh, went to reach for Gerard, gripping him by the arm and stopping him. Gerard frowned and hissed more in anger than in pain as he muttered a curse. “What were you doing, princess? Checking your make-up is alright?”
“It’s fine, thank you very much” Gerard replied with the most sarcastic smile he had ever given, pulling from his arm again. “You know, if you were appearing anyway, I’d of have gone to the fucking bathroom anyway”
“What, you thought you could skip your daily dose if you just went somewhere else, loser?” Lance questioned with a smile, before laughing a few seconds. “Wow, so pathetic he already knows where and when we’re catching up with him! Isn’t that-?“

“Funny” Gerard finished with another of his incredibly disgusted smiles. “Yeah, Leo over there is pissing in laughter” he said referring to the other jock standing behind, who looked a bit stunned when Gerard called his name and pointed at him, and did not stare down at the floor begging to be freed. “Can I go now? I really don’t feel like this today, you know?”
“I don’t care, Way” Lance growled, his smile fading and the frown appearing on his face as he tightened his grip on Gerard’s skinny arm, making him groan lightly in pain this time, staring away and fighting a few tears. “Listen, faggot, staring at you makes me sick”
What a coincidence!
Staring at me is disgusting, isn’t it?
“I just…hate to feel like watching the entire gay parade when you walk by” Lance continued, a bit lower this time, like this was a serious issue and not just another of his almost daily dose of bullying. “The long hair, the swinging hips when you walk, the way of standing, your…stupid giggle, and the sickly gayness of your whole face makes me want to throw up”

“Ah, so you stare at my hips when I walk” Gerard replied with a sly smile, but he did not dare on winking an eye at the other. He witnessed Lance’s blood rushing up to his cheeks, and he felt very flattered when, by the corner of the eye, he could see Leonard trying to contain a huge laugh.
“You just did not-” was all that Lance muttered before he threw his first punch to Gerard’s face. The small guy groaned as his head snapped to the left, and he stayed stupid for a few moments, enough for Lance to grip him from the shirt instead. With a new growl, Lance hit him on the other cheek, and Gerard’s head snapped the other side. “You were born with a pathetic excuse of a penis, weren’t you? Fucking act like the man you’re supposed to be”

Gerard’s head rested and so it went down but to the center. He breathed heavily through the nose, and exhaled through the mouth, letting a thin path of blood start marking its path down his chin. He moved his shaky hands up and gripped Lance’s wrist, and though it was usual from the bullied guys Lance treated with for them to do that as a reflex, this time it looked a bit more like Gerard had not done it out of instinct but as an act of defense, even though he caused no single bit of harm against the jock.
“Stop with the fucking girly giggles” Lance growled and so he hit Gerard again, this time with a slap. “The fucking gayness” and the slap went back. “What? Do you have no balls?”

And said that, his knee hit Gerard’s crotch, not too rough like Lance would have done if serious, but still…it was the nuts. The nuts.
Gerard groaned louder this time and, as Lance let go of his shirt, Gerard fell to his knees, hissing in pain and placing both hands on his crotch. Once on his knees, his forehead carefully met the ground, but he still managed to harm it a little as he did. God, the bathroom was a heck lot better for a beat up. At least that floor was not raspy.
“Oops…I think you do” Lance said with a smirk, and Leo laughed on the background. Both jocks stayed there, staring at the groaning kid at their feet, gripping his crotch and suffering through it. They let a few seconds pass by, just watching him tremble, until the guy could calm down a bit and get out of the massive pain, but still focusing on it. As the guys stared at him, Leo furrowed his eyebrows, and stared at Gerard like analyzing him.

“Hmm…” sounded in Leonard’s throat as he watched the guy, taking a few steps ahead to stand beside Lance, arms crossed, but soon moving a hand up to caress his chin, thinking toughly through stuff. “Something still doesn’t feel enough, Lance…”
“Why do you say so, Leo?” the jock questioned his friend, smirking and raising an eyebrow. Leonard was kind of his right hand, and even though he was much more calm than Lance, he could have as cruel ideas and soul.
“You know, you already worked on his face for him to look like a man” Leo mentioned, and then stared at his friend, smiling widely. “But the haircut’s for a girl”

Gerard’s eyes went open wide. Just as his legs trembled and he was about to stand up and burst away running before he even realized he had moved an inch, he was immediately gripped by the ponytail roughly by a big hand and pulled up. He yelped out in pain and fear, gripping the wrist of the hand that held his hair and which made him stand on his knees again with the head thrown back. He heard them laugh a bit, and soon the sound of a pair of scissors opening. Fuck.

“Lance” he whispered at first, and despite the pain, his eyes widened like he was being terrified by a ghost. Then, he started speaking quickly, and all strength and sarcasm had been washed away from his voice and he returned to the absolutely harmless, vulnerable, horrified guy. “Please, Lance, listen, you don’t know what-“
“Haha, now you’re not as smart, are you?” Lance laughed at him. “Scared of looking like a man? Wanna stay a girly girl, Way?”
“Lance, please, I’m begging you, I’m begging you-”

Don’t panic, Gerard, Billie’s going to appear and-

Snip.

Gerard suddenly snapped down to the ground, but the reflexes made his hands get in the way, so he was now standing in four, trembling.  His eyes stayed totally open like dishes, and his mouth stayed opened, but for harder he tried, he had totally forgotten how to breathe. He could feel his hands burning from landing on the raspy ground. He felt his lungs getting squeezed, and his stomach shrinking. He could feel his heart pumping loudly in his ears and throat. He could feel the temples throbbing.
But he could not feel any extra warmth on his nape.

The elastic band he used to keep his hair combed was lying at a side of his right hand, staring at him with deadness. Like it had no meaning to exist anymore. And there were a couple of locks of his hair around as well. One, two, twenty, maybe even fifty lying on the ground around of his hands.
It was on the ground. Not on his head.
Not on his head.

Gerard stayed totally still for some moments, just hearing Leonard and Lance laughing and celebrating like they had scored the best touchdown of history, and Gerard could just move up to sit his ass on his ankles, and he moved his trembling hands up. They burned. He moved one of them to the back of his head, and stayed away of it some moments, hesitating and totally terrified. Then it got closer to his nape. And he felt his nape. He felt the skin of it under locks of hair. There was no bulkiness. He actually had skin under the nape.

Letting more seconds pass by and barely breathing, Gerard moved the other hand back there as well, and touched around. His hair. It was…it was…

“Short!” Lance exclaimed with pride. “It fits a man much better!”

Gerard, still breathing with difficulty and feeling as if though they had taken a son of his away of his arms, turned around to stare at the guys, and his heart dropped to the ground along the few locks of hair that laid around. There, in a fist, Lance held his ponytail in the air, gripping it like it was the biggest prize ever. Gerard felt terrified; like he was standing before a murderer, who held Gerard’s entrails up with the guy still alive to see it before really finishing him. Gerard looked at it horrified, and Lance and Leonard just kept laughing.
“I’ll be keeping this!” Lance exclaimed, raising the hand that kept the cut off ponytail. “It’s going to look beautiful on my wall!” he joked.

Leonard high-fived him, and with that, both guys started walking away. Gerard stayed there, sat on the ground. He had the hands on the back of his head, like cutting his hair had caused him to start bleeding and he was trying to avoid the blood from coming out. His eyes stayed glued to the guys who walked away together, like a happy pair of innocent guys. Like they had not just destroyed an entire world of something.

Gerard stayed still, too shocked to really react. He felt his entrails working. They used to cry their lungs out in sorrow when he felt as incredibly hurt as he knew he was feeling in the moment. But, now, the entrails were not crying. They were barking and growling, desperate and drowned in anger, rather than in sadness.

Gerard, though, stayed thrown on the ground, shocked, and just let the rest of his class fly by with him sat on the parking lot, with the ponytail gone, and his talent and self-esteem along.

But the anger…oh, that stayed.
Yooooo, guys! I've become terrible at being in touch with you, ain't that true!? I totally SUCK! :iconiloveitmoreplz:

Anyway, uhm, what about you guys answer some stuff, because 1) it's always interesting reading other people's opinions on stuff, 2) it's much more interesting if it's YOU (not just random people I don't know), 3) I'd like some opinions on it, sincerely, 4) I just, want to read you. You always read me in my journals, but I don't watch many of you, so...I wanna read you now.

So, here they go:

1.- What do you think makes a great author/writer?
2.- What do you think makes a great novel?
3.- What do you think makes a great fantasy novel?
4.- What do you think makes a great actor?
5.- If it's your case, or you have your opinion on it, or know about it; how do you deal with low self-esteem?

I guess that's it for now. :aww:


Now, onto more of my bullshit:

--- I'm at two or three hours of FINALLY finishing the damn theatre play. No more pressure. :iconiloveitplz: And I've been enjoying it greatly! I should work more on this kinda stuff :meow:

--- I've been having LOTS of ideas for written stuff I want to...write? *applauding applauses of redundance* Thing is, it's for...well...nowdon'tlaugh- for books. :blush: Like, I had this time when I had LOTS, MILLIONS OF HUNDREDS of ideas for fictions, so many I never finished writting all of them down. It's the same, except this time it goes for novels, in my actual mother language, and inspired to go onto for being published. It's amazing and makes me worried about my health :noes:

--- I've also been having ideas for more fictions BUT I HAVE NOT EVEN FINISHED THE CAT DUET YET WHAT THE FUCK IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO YEARS NOW.

--- I can't wait to write the Hogwarts AU, opadjsfoisjfgosdjfios

--- My boyfriend was sorted into Slytherin. What am I telling my Hufflefather when he knows his Ravendaughter dates a SlytherAndré? :noes: I mean, I married a muggle, yes, BUT NOT A SLYTHERIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH- well, they're not so bad, and the guy's really nice. But couldn't you get an uglier one, like, wth.

I think that's it. I shall focus again on TCD once the play's done, I'MALMOSTDONEIT'SSOEXCITINGOMG.

So, what's up with you, guys? What does the weather say, eh? 

I suddenly don't know how to say goodbye, so uhm.

Well...

Bye :iconilikeitplz:
  • Mood: Daily Needs
  • Drinking: Coke
Heyo, guys! :blowkiss:

Anyway, just an update. 

I had been working on The Cat Duet to give you <del>three or two</em> readers quicker updates. Thing is, a few weeks before going back to school, the threatre guys from my part of the classroom came to me, and, well...

"We discussed it and we want you to write our final play"

My, I felt so flattered but so damn scared. I mean, I know more or less how to use words a bit for what I've realized this past year, but I'm just no drama writer or anything to really create a play or anything. I'm a mere amateur working hard to become better until being good enough and now I have my very first big work which I didn't do on my own but was asked for.

It's quite exciting to say at least. We're somehow treating Disney characters without them being fully in essence them (like, much more human and less cliché). They asked me to give them a character according to their essence, but I don't know most of them so I had to ask them a few questions, and still felt quite insecure with the characters I gave to them (had to review the WHOLE list of ALL disney movies like the times :faint:) but, one day during Literature, I heard my name in someone else's conversation so I turned around ilke 'Huh?'

And the threate guys were staring at me and one girl said "You rocked on the characters, Yolita" and everyone was like agreeing and I just blushed so much I just stared away and dag myself in my clothes.

So yep, I'm sorry but I'll be taking quite as long again ^^; 

It's the play, plus my homework plus my musical work and such, so, pardon me. 

But also!

Along with  my potassium :iconsalty-runner: I've been working on some ideas for future fics. They include:

- Hogwarts AU! with Billierard as main pairing.
And *drumming beat*

- Disney movies' AU! for different Pairings! :iconsuperw00tplz: They include Billierard, Bobkey, Mint (Mikey Way x Mike Dirnt), Bobard and that's it if I remember well. Ah! Including two Tim Burton movies.

And such. ^^;

So uhm, life's going good. I BOUGHT MYSELF A POCKET WATCH AND IT'S THE BEST THING EVER.

With no more to say, I say bye :iconsuperw00tplz:
  • Mood: Daily Needs
  • Watching: Emperor's New Groove (as my homework, ha!)

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Idunno09's Profile Picture
Idunno09
Yola
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Mexico
Hello :aww:

Here's a bit about me:

:bulletblack: Eighteen.
:bulletblack: Pansexual.
:bulletblack: Short.
:bulletblack: Amateur author
:bulletblack: Student of music.


My real birthday is January 11. Not January 23.

But if you come here in 23 to wish me a happy birthday, I don't mind. It's a mistake I did when I joined deviantArt.


Requests are always opened: feel free to ask!
Feedback is really appreciated too :aww:


:bulletred: My friends here in devA :bulletred:

My first friends: :iconsisterofgrace::iconmotleyprincess::iconpoisonkiss13666::iconburningsun95::iconmiharumatsuo::iconnattie-bug::iconcanadian-muffin::iconcivicusdreamer:
My Taco friend: :iconcacuga:
My (internet) big sister: :iconllamasaysquack:
My Billierard Buddy::icon2d-kiryu:
My Bike buddy: :iconsalty-runner:
A really unique person: :iconpampd:
Seems to be that I'm married: :icongirlofhearts:
My grandkid (on the internet): :iconmissmusicchanel:

I guess that's me. If you want to know anything else (Which I highly doubt) feel free to ask :meow:


Current Residence: Mexico
Favourite genre of music: Alternative / Punk/ Rock
Personal Quote: "I'd rather perish beside a friend, than go on without them"
Interests

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:iconpampd:
pampd Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Hey dude guess who's decided to come and give a random nice hug? :icondragonglomp::icondragonhug: Hope everything's cool and good on your side of the planet. c:
Reply
:iconidunno09:
Idunno09 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
YO! 
My, you're so sweet, cheered up my day :tighthug:
Reply
:iconnoxious-purity:
Noxious-Purity Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Belated Birthday! I'm sorry it's so late, I haven't been on DA for awhile.
Reply
:iconidunno09:
Idunno09 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
That's so sweet, thank you :huggle::heart:
Reply
:iconnoxious-purity:
Noxious-Purity Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! I just figured I would. :hug:
Reply
:iconidunno09:
Idunno09 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
:blush:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icon2d-kiryu:
2D-Kiryu Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Student Artist
Yooooo. I hope I wasn't late to say this.

Happy birthday, Yola!~<3
Reply
:iconidunno09:
Idunno09 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
That's okay, thank you so much! :tighthug::heart:
Reply
:iconmurderous-coffeebean:
Murderous-Coffeebean Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist

DUDE!!!!!!!! :wave: :glomp:

There's this beautiful and talented sweetheart of a friend of mine whose birthday it is today~
She turns 18 today, ain't that wonderful?? :aww:

Happy birthday, dearie, I wish you all the best, health and happiness, as well as the best of luck for the final months of school and all you future plans!!!! :iconbigheartplz: :iconsupertighthugplz:

I know this isn't the most creative thing now since you came up with it first, but the video you sent me on my birthday made my day, so- www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvspdT… HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :iconluvluvplz: :tighthug: :party: :iconhappybirthdaycakeplz:

I was about to write some kind of number poem, from 1 to 18, for you when I noticed that it's hard to put people and facts in strictly ordered numbers and alike... So I have no (only a half finished) poem to tell you how much you mean to me and out of doubt everyone else who knows you, but- Lovely Shoujo Emoji (Huggy Hug) [V2] Bro hug I hope you know that :heart:

I hope you'll have a wonderful birthday, lots of joy and many, many more to look forward to! ^_^ :huggle: :heart:

Reply
:iconidunno09:
Idunno09 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
My, no matter how much I've already thanked you, you still come up with such sweet, kind comments that I just. aoisdjosidjosidjf, HOW ARE YOU EVEN POSSIBLE, WOMAN!? You're the sweetest thing ever, seriously! :iconluvluvplz:
KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! OHMYGODIDIDNOTEXPECTTHATI'MSOMELTINGRIGHTNOW FUCKING BILLIEJOE SINGING HAPPEH BIRFDAY TO MEH IT'S THE BEST THINGEVERTHANKYOUSOMUCH! :icondragonglompplz::iconwuvplz:
Ohmy, that's such a kind and wonderful thing of you to come up with and to say :tighthug: You seriously just don't stop amazing me, stop being so kind or I'll melt from heartache of the wonderful ones! :happycry: :heart: 
Thank you, you have no idea how much you made my day :tighthug:
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